Choices

What we do, what we chose to do, always comes back on us. Either good or bad. Karma, I guess you could say. Have you ever made a choice, for you, that everyone else thought was bad or horrible or downright selfish? Or, what about for your family, your children that everyone else thought the same as I just mentioned? I have, plenty of times and did I ever receive backlash for it. Every decision I have made has been for the betterment of my children, some I have made for myself, because if we don't do something for ourselves every once in a while, we will lose ourselves. I am still getting backlash for the choices I've made, but, only from certain people. That sounded a bit weird when I typed that just now, but it's true. There are only certain people who have given me backlash for my choices, not the law, or any regulation, just people and these people are the ones that have tried to control me in order to benefit themselves.

For example, when I moved to my new place and new job. My family supported me, they were nervous about the change, I was too (but who isn't?), but I was also looking at it as a fresh start for me and my kids. We were not having the best of time at our previous place, that we spent almost 7 years in. There were countless struggles, for all of us, my son most of all. My job had become a burden to me, I had thought countless times of making excuses to not go into the office, I never did but I wanted too and that was a job that I loved doing. I was struggling to get up in the morning, my kids were struggling, it weighed me down so much, it felt like I was drowning with a bear sitting on my chest making it hard to breathe. Every breathe I took came harder and harder each time. Then finally, as I told in my frenemy post, my new supervisor came, and he came at just the right time. (read my Frenemy post for full details)

After my supervisor left, and things with my coworker who became my new supervisor got worse, I started looking for ways to get out of there. At that point I didn’t care where I went, I just needed to get out of there. When they helped me, I became stronger, and I will always give credit to them for what they helped me with, even my coworker who became my supervisor. They took the time to push me and help me rise up and be strong, no matter what our relationship is now, I will always be thankful and grateful. But I couldn’t work for them anymore, I couldn’t even work with them, not just for them, it was time for me to finally move on. I reached out to a former mentor, and I reached out to M.J.W. and all but begged to be moved. When I found out that the position I am now in was going to be vacant, I pushed, I pushed hard and to everyone I knew to make sure my name came out on that memo. I wanted a fresh start for my children, for myself and to finally be with my love. It worked, the memo came out and I was so incredibly happy. My kids were not, well, my son wasn’t. He was angry and upset, which he had absolutely every right to be. We had been here almost 7 years and he had made so many wonderful friends, and now I was taking him away from them. I ended up teleworking a lot so I could be home with him and help him through the transition, and thank the universe for Andrea and M.J.W. for allowing me to do that.

No matter what terrible things were happening, I stuck with my choice to move, I knew deep down in my heart this is what we needed. I am so glad I did. We had a rocky start, my son had trouble adjusting at first, my daughter, well, she pretty much just fits in everywhere. She has such a kind and loving soul, she is instantly loved by all. Things with my son slowly got better, he made the A team for freshman football, which helped him a lot, he did have some pretty major setbacks though. He ended up have a helmet to helmet hit and blacked out for an instant and didn’t tell anyone about it, instead he kept playing. That choice costed him. He was out the rest of the season for post-concussion syndrome; he did learn his lesson from that, but he didn’t let it slow him down. He still managed to keep his grades up and thrived. Both of my kids are thriving up here and as I sit on my porch and look around at the wonderful little neighbor we live in, with the wonderful neighbors and kids and the atmosphere, we are all so happy. My son said to me the other day, and again last night to my parents, that this has been the best year of his life and he is so happy we moved. He misses his old friends of course, but he still keeps in contact with them. That meant so much to me and made my heart smile so big and my eyes water.

So many people criticized me for choosing to uproot my kids and move across the state, I was called selfish, I was told my new position made my head swell and I was doing whatever I wanted and sh*tting on the little people. So many negative things were thrown at me for this decision, but I didn’t care. My priority is and will always be my children and if moving them across the state was the right choice, then so be it. And from where I am sitting, on my porch listening and watching the lawn guys cut grass (I am annoyed now a bit) was the right decision, then screw everyone else.

Make the choice that is right for you and your children (if you have children) and do not pay attention to the negative around you.